Category Archives: Ceremony

We’re Not In Kansas Anymore

I woke today dream praying for the workers in the fields with toxic conditions.  Prayers for them.  For the soil.  For the water and our Mother the earth.  Healing in a paradigm shift.

Dream FORWARD.  Dream BIG.

What will we dream for the next Seven Generations?

Peace first, in my heart of hearts understanding, my own healing is my work and an offering to the solutions.

The Children’s Circle meets this afternoon.  Seems we’ll have a sunny time.   Bare feet.  Making relations with our Mother.  And the water.  Last spring our Circle  offered ceremony for the water, this spring Snohomish County is offering free shoreline restorations in their Lake Wise project!  WooHOO!  Wopila! to the children and moms!

Echo Lake is noisy with bird voices.  East of me somewhere close a tree is being limbed.   Prayers for the Standing  Nation – Hallelujah!  I/We can breathe by their generous living in the web of life.  Pilamaya!

I saw a Red-tailed Hawk being mobbed by twenty or so Crows an hour ago.  I heard the terrible scolding of the crows long before I saw them in the sky.  Red-tailed tried circling higher, moving rapidly together the crows wouldn’t relent.  All the way across my Echo Lake sky and beyond my view they mobbed him.  I heard Red-tailed cry out though I could no longer see him.

Times are changing.  Things aren’t ever going to be the same.

It’s a powerful time we are living in.   We’re not in Kansas anymore.  We get to decide what we want our world to look like.  We have that power for good or evil.  Our lives are in our own hands.  I have optimism in the emergence of good.  Gratitude, gratitude, gratitude for all who are bringing Light.  All those ceremonies, prayers and service.  It is an honor to be among you.

Prayers for Peace and healthy food.  No more chemicals in/on our children’s bodies, or our bodies or in our Mother Earth.

Good happy hearts for all of us.

Humbly I bend to the breaking down and breathe Light into the future.  Dreaming.  With my dreaming eyes I visualize, holding space for the heart space for myself and Oneness.

Mitakuye Oyasin  ~  All My Relations

 

Concentric Circles

“Starting from within, working in a circle, in a sacred manner, we heal ourselves, our relationships and the world.”  ~  Chief Phil Lane, Jr.

Dense.  Fog.   Not the dark mercury fog of deep winter.  Instead a thick membrane of white-gray.  Seeming impenetrable while the light is already beginning to suffuse the placenta birthing this day.  Silhouettes emerging.  A circle.  The Standing Nation, tall, shoulder to shoulder.  The semi-round waxing moon had been present very early this morning, casting light onto Echo Lake, now she is on the other side of the fog.  Only milky white, shadows in the distance.   The lake is an altar.  It is a circle before me every day.  Surrounded by the circle of trees. The concentric circles begin within me, working their way out into the world.

Offering prayers to the North, to what remains of a non-winter, the trees tell me to go to the core of things within myself.  I go seeking to understand what lay beneath.  What is the motivation?  What are the emotions?  What is at the heart of me?  At  my very core?  Often in the forest I find pieces of wood that are just that, the core, the place of connectivity, of a branch growing from trunk.  I’ve kept some, one particular piece was sanded smooth becoming a talking stick for the Children’s Circle.  There are many circles – symbolic, metaphoric and physical in this reality that are part of my life.

Many circles.   Circle of life.  The circle of the seasons.  The astrological wheel a continuous circle.  Many Sacred Circles of Peoples.  The hoop of a family.  The hoop of a drum.   The waft of a feather fan, begins in the circle of a nest, sage smoke moves out into the Universe.   The round of a rattle allowing the contents to emanate voice.  A stone tossed into the lake creates ripples that move, even if interrupted, to the shoreline, meeting that circle of earth surrounding the circle of lake.  It is all connected.  Concentric circles.   Starting from within.  Working in a circle.  In a sacred manner.

The work at Soul Proprietor happens in a circle.  A container created by prayer, by intention and by the people who come to create.  Over the years numerous Teachers have begun to send their students to me, to craft in a good way their ceremonial and sacred objects.  Each of these Teachers carry a unique piece of a healing perspective.  I integrate these threads of wisdom into my life, woven fabric.  This past Sunday another new Circle, eight beautiful women came to birth drums.  The guidance that came forward for me to share with them was to learn the sacred songs, using their drums to send up a voice.  A healing.  Their teacher is one who carries the songs.  Their hearts begin the circle.  Starting from within.  Working in a circle.  In a sacred manner.   We heal ourselves.  Our relationships.  And the world.

I am filled with gratitude.

Brother Phil asked me and the entire Circle to memorize the opening quote to this post.  He asked also that we live it.  Make it our walk in the world.  With it comes so much honesty, so much hope, optimism.  I am inspired.  The fog has lifted completely, the pale blue sky boldly colors the water.  Trees reflect their strong imprint on the surface of the lake – their crowns pointing towards me – look within to the core of things they say.  Starting within.  Working in a circle.

I have an old dog who is preparing to cross over.  She still has all four feet in this reality and she is preparing, closing in on completion of the circle that is her life.  Somewhere a litter of Doberman puppies are gestating.  My father’s wife is preparing too, for her own transition, dancing between life, disease and death.  And a baby will be born.  Each life begins and ends – a circle, complete within itself and a part of the whole.  My heart is both heavy and full, buoyed by these ways of living and working in a circle.

A’ho Mitakuye Oyasin  ~  All My Relations

Sharing Their Bounty

This is a story about generosity, about receiving a gift from virtual strangers, and about the gift of the deer nation.

It all started with a friend recommending Soul Proprietor moccasin to a client of hers last summer.  I met and measured this woman’s feet.  The easiness with which we talked to one another was lovely – not just business for either of us – instead an exchange from the heart that took up the better part of an afternoon.  Again when she tried on the patterns for proper fit and more so upon delivery.

Out of the blue she called me last fall.  Would I like any deer hides from the hunt her People would be going on?  She is from the Snoqualmie Tribe.  Each autumn the People come together to hunt, to make meat, sustenance for all who’ll need meat throughout the year.  She offered that I could have possibly as many as 20 hides.  I accepted 3, not wanting to take more than I could properly tend to.

Late last year she delivered the hides to me.  And would I like some feet?  I accepted this too.  I put the hides into my freezer until I could dedicate my time to them.  The feet needed immediate tending.  I was presented with a learning curve.  I’ve never taken toes from hooves.  Nor had I ever harvested tendons to make sinew.   This is a time I can say thank goodness for Google.

When I am making moccasin, I am able to be present with feet in a surprising way, it seems so intimate and personal.  Likewise, taking the hide and toes from deer feet, seeing their structure – the muscling, the tendons and blood vessels, the bones – different than an intellectual knowing, now it was personal for me.  And working with these particular deer, knowing they had been prayed for before they were hunted, that these deer had been honored in a good way – they had offered themselves so the People may live.  My own prayers of gratitude and respect accompanied the boiling water that would soften the cartilage allowing for the toes to be removed.  Sage smoke to purify.  Some of the tendons and toes released with ease.  Others took effort.  Metaphor.  What am I holding onto?  How can I let go?  What makes sacred and what makes ordinary?  Is there a difference?

Last week I took the smallest hide from the freezer, let it thaw, then opened the black plastic bag.  I hadn’t seen the hide yet, the bag had been tied closed.  I was taken aback by the thick coat of fur, course yet so soft.  I spent a while praying with the hide, being thankful, honoring the animal’s life and this gift.  I called for help.

Fleshing is very hard work.  Was I scrapping enough of the fat and fascia off?  Was I going too deep?   At first it seemed like I’d never get it done, there was a lot to do.  It made me slow down, be present, learn from the animal.  Medicine is such a teacher.  No single direction accomplished the task, I was circling around the work table in the fresh air with the warmth of the sun – mourning the absence of winter and snowpack, it was nearly 60* on a winter’s day.  Finally, listening, I was able to work with ease, a composure within myself and the gentleness of the deer to guide me.   Once I understood, I found a rhythm and could  be present with both the work and my prayer, and my wondering thoughts.  The Snoqualmie People – how generous to share with a stranger the bounty of their hunt.  Prayers for their good health, happy hearts and all their needs being met in a good way.  Who shot this deer?  How many will eat?  Who took the hide off the animal?  They did a really good job of it, no holes were cut into the skin.  I thought of the landscape that supported this deer, of my prayer for Ina Maka.  I was reminded of the buffalo hunt my own community had the year before.  I helped to take that hide from the animal, it was women’s work just like the old days.  Who fleshed the buffalo hide?  I don’t know.  It must have been a herculean task, I found myself grateful there was a community to do the work.  And deep gratitude for Eileen, gifting me a knife on that day, the knife I was now using, perfect for my work.  I wound up with a blister where it fit into the palm.  I thought of friends long gone from my life and how tender a place still for them in my heart and memory.  Flies.  Was this bounty an unexpected feast for them or did they just take it in stride?  I thought about the food chain.  And enough.  I reflected on the fact that this is my life – buffalo hunt, helping friends to butcher turkey, now this deer – could I kill?  I never have taken an animal’s life.  I thought of my own mortality.

It took longer than I thought it would, not just the work itself, but the time to make ready – teaching me patience and to trust.  I worked on it three separate days just to remove the fur.  Each day more fur came free but not all.  I saw the places I held fear the way the skin held the fur – not wanting to waste or lay to ruin this hide.  How long was too long to soak it waiting for the fur release and be easily removed?  Using a round stone that fit nicely in my hand, I rubbed the fur off the skin.  Soaking it again over night with wood ash.  Then over a weekend, the last of my ash.  Was there a better way?  Was I working in an efficient manner?  I was reminded again and again to breathe and relax my shoulders, release the tension in my neck and thoughts.  To trust in the process.

I never did get all of the fur removed.  There is still a bit around the edges of the hide but nothing that will inhibit good use of the skin which is large enough for two drums to come forward.  I chose to dry the hide so I could learn how to stretch it without stretching too much.  More metaphor.  Deer teaches of the many paths there are to follow to arrive at a single destination.  I am constantly amazed this is my path into the Mystery.

The first drum and the first rattle will be given back to the Snoqualmie People in gratitude for their generosity.   Their kindness gives me hope for us all.  We are all one nation, one tribe, one human family.  And the deer, who made an agreement to give of itself sets an example for me to live by, one which we all can learn from in these times of great need.  There is enough when we share in the bounty.

Pilamaya to the Snoqualmie Nation.  Pilamaya to the Deer Nation.

Mitakuye Oyasin  ~  All My Relations

 

A New Dawn

Waking in the half light of  a new day and into a new year, I go out into the frozen morning with a hummingbird feeder to hang it in the dogwood tree, a bare winter branch with spring buds waiting.  Walking down the long narrow lawn to fill the seed feeder I am moved deeply by the silence of the morning.  I savor the cold against my bare skin, the brittle crunch of heavily frosted grass under my feet disturbing the hush.  I am grateful for the perfection of this winter day, being alive to witness the dawning alone – no birds yet risen with song.

The abundance of my life is not lost on me.  The frigid morning was there to greet me.  I did not have to sleep outside in the cold.  I have a home.  It was a warm and comfortable bed I arose from.  There’ll be hot coffee with cream and breakfast to follow, clean clothes.

A few days ago I had the realization that in addition to the love and light I do my best to practice and live, that I still held judgment and anger for the transgressions of the past.  The past is behind me.  Unless I put it into my present.  And worse into my future.  My rightful concerns for the injustices and the inequalities that exist in the world today have been so clouded over by my conditioning.  No matter where my heart has been coming from, my mind still had control.  I don’t want to simply change my mind – change can equal little more than another word slipped in to replace anger.  A word with the matching emotion such as indignation, resentment, acrimony or bitterness.  Change isn’t benevolence or good will – transcendence is.

Anger is valid.  Anger though, must be put to good use.  Anger is my teacher shifting my perspective more fully towards forgiveness and embracing the light.  Injustice isn’t healed by anger alone, by recounting each outrage or prejudice, all the oppressions and breaches in dignity.  I cannot make the reparations in the outside world.  The trespasses of the past can only be healed inside my own head and heart.  I see how I need to stop ripping back the scab that makes the wounds bleed.  I am willing to transcend the mind, create a new pattern.   Connect the head and the heart.  This, says Chief Phil Lane, Jr. is the longest journey a human being will ever undergo.  I am tired of this walk – on a treadmill going nowhere – I am learning.

I will step anew onto a path of calm and kindness, contentment without complacency for a new dawn to rise within my heart each minute of the day.  As I transmute this old way of being, I create the possibility of a dawning of light, a healing elixir and salve that transcends anger into charity and peaceable forbearance.  Of a heart alleviated from the long-suffering anger of the past.  As another one of my teachers said this morning, “…when I go to do something, or manifest something, I always start with a prayer, put out the intent for things to manifest.  That is the teaching.  Sometimes we just forget to apply our tools and we have really good ones.”.

At the genesis of this new year, I put up this prayer – for gratitude, for peace of mind, of forgiveness, and for the manifestation of a new dawn and anger that lives in the past.

Mitakuye Oyasin  ~  All My Relations

 

 

 

 

3M

The Medicine of Moose a Moccasin Workshop.

I’ve been drawn to work with moose medicine for some time.  I am  eager to birth a sweat lodge and a community drum of moose hide.  It hasn’t been right timing just yet.  I’ve used a thick tanned  moose hide with an unusual finish as inserts between the inner and outer layer of moccasin sole leather, cushioning the steps very nicely.  I hadn’t worked with moose hide quite like the one that came forward last week for a pair of moccasin.  OMG!  Sumptuous, butter soft, caramel color leather.

* I just got scolded by Steller’s Jay.  I have hides – deer, elk and horse – hanging on the deck railing, it’s such a gorgeous October day. This mornings fog, a cozy blanket, gave way to the sun and now the hides are soaking it up.  I offered ceremonies to honor their spirits.  These hides have given as much as they’ve received already.  Wopila!  Saturday they will be birthed into drums at the Bainbridge Island Bodhi Center.  Today, Steller’s finds them in his way.  Too bad!

Back to the moose, Alces alces.  I watched the moose in this photograph a few years ago while at Rocky Mountain National Park in Colorado .  There were several in a loose group, cows and juvenile, who kept my attention for hours – they were browsing casually through the grasses, willows and aspen twigs, paying no mind to me.  Moose are such massive animals, beautifully muscled, they were quiet and graceful as the moved their hulk with ease within the branches and briars of the meadow. They came so close I felt I must be invisible, holding my breath I backed away as silently as dry grasses and shriveled leaves will allow giving them the space they deserve.  I’ve been fortunate to see moose in Washington, Idaho,  Alaska and Canada also.  Rare sightings that thrilled me.   While the population of moose in Colorado seems to remain stable, their numbers are markedly diminished in across North America yet the species as a whole is still consider of least concern in efforts to conserve their population and habitat.  As the reach of climate change deepens, while mining permits are still being issued and habitat loss continues, the threats are increasing to the wellbeing of the majestic moose.

“Moose are in jeopardy across the U.S. – from New Hampshire, Vermont, and Maine; to Minnesota and Michigan; and even Montana. One of America’s most iconic animals is at risk of becoming just a memory. It’s time to take action on climate change.”  National Wildlife Federation

The fact of this makes working with the medicine of moose an even greater honor.  Rather than getting lost in the conflict that accompanies these disturbing facts, I embrace the opportunity to be present with the needs of this magnificent creature.   What are the tangible and concrete practical measures that must be taken allowing their numbers rebound?  And to keep their environments are healthy and abundant?  What are the prayers that are needed so the needs of moose are met?  What apologies need to be made to the moose nation for the acts of mankind can I make on our behalf?  What other ways can I be involved in the conservation of habitat or protection of the overall ecosystem in which the moose resides in North America?  I remind myself that my vote counts despite what seems a dismal political landscape.

The Athapaskan would pray to Raven to assist in their hunts of the moose.  Thus when the moose appeared, it was a special and sacred gift.    The moose can teach invisibility, shape-shifting, depth perception, acute judgment and ability to negotiate landscapes.  Moose carries a feminine energy from its association to water and great maternal energy.  There is a primal strength with moose.  Their ability to dive into the depths of water reflects the ability of an individual who aligns with moose to go into the depths and draw new life and nourishment from it. When moose comes into your life, the primal contact with the feminine force and void of life is being awakened.  It is an invitation to learn to explore new depths of awareness and sensitivity within yourself and your environs. ~ Paraphrased excerpts from Ted Andrews Animal Speaks

Moose hide moccasin
Moose hide moccasin

Join in and attend a Moccasin Workshop October 18-19. In this workshop you will commune with the spirit of the animal – moose, buffalo and elk are available, each carrying their own powers to support your walk in the world – your everyday and any ceremonial needs you may have.  With every stitch you can call on the wisdom of the four-legged and your ancestors who walk with you.

“Barbara I have to tell you that your moccasins are more than something to wear on my feet. I LOVE wearing them, as they hug my feet, giving a sense of security, tenderness and love. I slow down my steps when wearing them – mindfulness? reverence for a feeling I don’t fully understand? I’ve already had the feeling that I NEED to put them on, and once felt they were on, when they weren’t! Thank you for sharing this medicine. I will continue to try to be mindful every time I wear them. In gratitude.” ~ Marge

Reserve your seat and confirm your hide preference.

Deep gratitude for the moose’s medicine!  Aho Mitakuye Oyasin!

 

 

 

 

 

Hanblecheyapi: Crying For A Vision

Since first posting this piece in 2014, my relationship to ceremony, to walking in a good way, and to myself have deepened tremendously. I have learned how even my most respectful intentions have loose edges. My apologies to anyone who I have inadvertently disrespected. I used the Lakota language, The Sacred Pipe, my source for the words I chose. Going to Standing Rock. Having recently quested. I am learning. Still. Humbly. August 2017

I dreamed… I was with the Star Nation, held in the vastness of sapphire blue, they glittered all around me.  I was filling – but not to full – rectangular paper boxes with light and releasing them into the darkness.  Ballast containers for the hanblecheyapi.

I’ve never vision quested myself however I have been invited to support the hanblecheya camp – once as an ally to a quester and today I go into camp as the camp cook for the fifth time.  It is an honor and a lot of hard work.

Six stops at various grocery stores to get all the provisions.  At one store I was asked if I “shop often?”  I was told at another that it seemed like the “healthiest camp food” he’d ever seen.  We will eat well.  Three squares a day plus a sweet thing or two.  The nourishment I serve up to the intercessor, the fire tenders, all those who support the camp is healthy and plentiful.  This abundance is also feeding those on the hill who are fasting and going without water for days – energetically they are fed, nourished in a good way by our eating and drinking.  With a lot of creativity I will get all the food packed into my car – she is not a pack mule but I treat her like one.

A Vision Cry or quest is an ancient tradition with the Lakota People.  In my community is it treated with deepest respect and reverence – the tradition is honored in ever way possible.  The preparations have taken many months – their sacred items in hand, the altar is set.  The Questers commitments are rooted in something I cannot begin to know – this time on the hill is their prayer to the Creator for their families and their path at this time.

“But perhaps the most important reason to “lament” is that it helps us to realize our oneness with all things, to know that all things are our relatives; and then in behalf of all things we pray to Wakan-Tanka that He may give to us knowledge of Him who is the source of all things, yet greater than all things.”  Black Elk, excerpts from The Sacred Pipe.

There is a line in the Sacred Pipe that also says in our sleep the most powerful visions come to us; they are not merely dreams, for they are more real and powerful and do not come from ourselves, but from Wakan-Tanka.  In my dream there is ballast, light that will surround and support my friends who will cry for a vision so all the people will live.  And then we will feast in celebration – traditional foods – buffalo stew, wojapi and fry bread, salmon to honor the local River People.

My own prayer ties complete.  They are for all the hands who have brought this food forward, for the land that is has come from, for the food itself – the various Nations who have offered themselves for us to eat, for our protection and safety and harmonious kitchen, the heart of camp.  For those who support.  For those who will quest.

Wakan-Tanka onshimala ye oyate wani wachin cha!

O Great Spirit  be merciful to me that my people may live!

Patterns In My DNA

I received a Constellations class as a giveaway in late July from one of my current teachers.  First we were taught to use our body’s physical sensations as a barometer with exploratory exercises to familiarize.  Then our group, 20 of us, were contained tightly (or so it seemed to me) in the corner of a room.  We were to imagine ourselves as our Ancestors onboard a ship, the vessel coming to America – the New Land of promise.  The melting pot where we all belonged.

The interesting experience I had is a tell-tale of what my ancestors felt.  It is a in my own DNA patterning.  It is the ceremonies in my life that allow me to be present with this in a way that doesn’t have any quality of shrinkage – instead I feel humble and bold.  I am carrying my own weight and that of all the others.   Yet it doesn’t feel a burden.  I turn to it, open.  What will it show me of myself, of those who came before me?  Frankly, it wasn’t a pleasant experience on the boat.  Not until many had already disembarked, their own promises in hand, giving me some personal space was I able to breathe.  For me the New Land didn’t feel promising or remotely inviting.  I forced myself to get off the boat, find my way.  I did not feel I belonged.  Nor did I feel welcomed.  The New Land gave me a headache, leaving me nauseated.  The word sequestered keeps coming to mind.  I’ll look at that later.  Now I feel compelled to feel this as a new way of knowing myself and my life – the everyday stuff.  How will that large overview of self lead to discovery  of my walk in the world?  In the places where I bloom and shine or where I drag my feet and cling to the banks of the river, speak up or go mum, demand personal space or offer freely of my time and energies?

A fantastic synchronicity – I was generously gifted with having my DNA analyzed by 23andme at the same time of this Constellations class.  Thank you Lo’ and R3.

A curiosity, we are currently in Leo which is empty in my personal astrological chart.  The 5th house, how do I express myself creatively?  This feels like I’ve drawn the Blank Rune.  The patterns have been delivered.  It is up to me.  What will I do with it?  Like Leo with the Sun as it’s symbol, I am standing at the center.  I am standing at the center of my lineage.  Many generations have come before who now stand behind me.  What will I create with these patterns for the generations to come?

Constellations can be practiced at any time – in our home lives with partners and children, our family of origin interactions, in the work place, at the grocery store.  What the body senses is a barometric touchstone at every moment.  Does it feel inviting?  Does it repelled?  Am I nonplused?   This leaves me to think of the seemingly endless war and the violence we perpetrate on one another.  The teaching is straightforward and elemental, easy to catch onto.  It could be a game changer I feel.  Yet, the patterns are so dangerously ingrained and for so many the act of survival in their current life situation all they can focus on.  Kill or be killed, it’s been happening for centuries, violence is in our DNA.  With this awareness and without a gun or a bomb pointed towards a person – in the Middle East or the streets of Any-City USA, anywhere – could we ALL learn to get along?  Would we understand the patterns and create something new?

It is also true, that in my DNA patterning there is a prayer for peace.  I too, have a dream.   Aho Mitakuye Oyasin!  All My Relations!

 

The Night Turtle Dance

It’s almost time for The Night Turtle Dance!!!  Come!  Join us!  Bring the Elders and bring the children – a celebration for us all!

Grandmother Turtle is swimming toward us.  We are preparing, moving towards the meadow to met her and with joy-full hearts.

My friend and teacher Sarah received a vision on her hanblechya, vision quest, a number of years ago that was to become The Night Turtle Dance.  This year will be the sixth time this ceremony will be danced.  Each year it grows in such a beautiful way.  A committed core group sees to the organization, to the vision itself and the land where we will gather and dance in the August full moon.  In addition, the group is expanding to include many others who are drawn like Luna moths to the moon’s light – transfixed, thus transformed, who carry this dance within and out throughout the year.

An altar is lovingly etched into a meadow containing seven altars – a community drum with beautiful singers and songs.  It is indeed joy full!  Simple and intricate patterns danced into the earth with great full intention – both joyful and grateful.

NTDlogo1

This ceremony is a dance of gratitude – a prayer of giving back to our Mother Earth for all the gifts she gives.  Our every need is met by her.  This dance is to honor that generosity giving back with our hearts and prayers.   I always make my dance a commitment to hold the turtles back, which means I stay on the altar all night in silent prayer between each of the seven rounds.  This is personally fulfilling and meaningful and while I am willing to continue this commitment, there is always a time I am drawn towards the voices and laughter of those who make their commitment in a different way.  Their joyful sounds by the community fire so sweet.  Maybe this year, my fourth year dancing, I will join them and do a little laughing myself.  Maybe not – I like the silence, how it anchors the ceremony in such a good way – how it anchors me.

The vision is made manifest here in the Pacific Northwest, soon it will be danced in Europe and there is a dream coming true to share it in Mexico with indigenous peoples wishing to dance in this way.  Consider helping to bring this ceremony to Mexico.  Consider joining us August 9-11 in the meadow of Camp Niwana, you’ll be glad you did.

“…Oh and we danced  by the light of the silvery moon…”

Aho Mitakuye Oyasin!