All posts by Barbara Ocskai

Never. Eat. Soggy. Waffles.

Open ♥’s, peace-full, joy-full, innocent children making prayers.

The Children's Circle makes a prayer for Peace
The Children’s Circle makes a prayer for Peace

Seriousness and giggles.  Rocks in socks.  Singing songs of joy.

Calling in the Ancestors of the East (eat) – rattling, ringing bells, juggling wooden shakers, a singing bowl – bring the illumination, cast the Light of Understanding into the shadows of darkness.  We listen with our inner wisdom and receive the gifts of the Earth – sunshine, cool air, no coats, many geese.  What is your greatest joy?  What is your vision?  A girl who can fly, and willing to do double duty.  One who tends to animals, a garden growing food, children of the future.  A Shortstop who gives his extra riches away wanting boys and girls with little to experience baseball camp.  A woman at peace with the water.  Communing with the wild remote places on earth.

Lighting candles, we sent our blessings up – may we all know joy, have visions of a peace-full future.

There is a big responsibility in tending to our ♥s, the ♥s of others.  A mother gently spoke… remember Paris… many people at this time are crying, many are suffering all over the world, painful things have occurred.  South (soggy) medicine is for the whole and healthy ♥.  Kindness. Love. Joy. Peace. Compassion.  Raising our conscious intentions for ourselves and all others – offering the purity of child blessings for the wholeness, repairing the holes in ♥s with gladness, gratitude and love.  Always on the other side of the darkest night comes  the blessings of morning light.  Even in the hard places.  Shining.  Luminous.  Perfect.  Love.

Lighting our candles, from one flame to the next, calling it forth, making it so for ourselves, sending the light to all others.

Sisterhood.  Brotherhood. 17 generations in the past and 17 generations into the future. Digging deep into the shadows bringing light to the humble, which are holy. Luring gentleness into this time. Calling the Mystery, calling for grace.  Connecting to the Water, hands wet, giving and receiving.  We joyfully give our prayers and highest intentions, making blessing, fiercely rattling in abundance of Love.  Allies of the West (waffles) it’s time now.  Hear us. Feel us. See us. Sending up a call.

Our candles are lit.

Who is your Grandmother? Who is your Grandfather?  And theirs?  How far back in time are we related?  Back.  Back.  Back.  Perhaps our people were Cavemen.  Surely.  All our relations – stone nation, standing ones, four-legged, winged, swimmers, all you microbes and creepy crawly bugs – how have we been in relation with you as a human family?  Wisdom Keepers of the North (never), what apologies can we make?  What forgiveness can we extend?  From our precious, sweet, pure ♥s we send a prayer for healing and reparations past hurts and harm!  We won’t carry it forward.  May all the generations coming be at peace.  We are at peace with ourselves, with one another.  We believe in Love.

We offer the very best of ourselves by lighting another candle.

Prayers for Peace by the Children's Circle
Prayers for Peace by the Children’s Circle

The Circle is complete.  A’ho!

Working with these beautiful young one is an honor.  It’s a balance to maintain innocence and tell the truth about the goings on of the world.  I left it to the grown-up to impart what prompted an altar for Peace.  The children are wise, they are compassionate and giving, freely sharing themselves – pure love.

Everyday I make my own offering, everyday I pray for Peace.

Prayers for Peace
Prayers for Peace

Mitakuye Oyasin  ~  All My Relations

 

 

A Rose Among Thorns

I stepped into the shower, suddenly missing my mother more intensely than I have in a while.  Damn grief always showing up like an unexpected guest.  My belief is our souls are entwined, divinely connected by some unexplainable creation agreement.  So she is constantly with me.  Why then is grief so surprising when it comes calling?

I greet my Ancestors each morning upon waking.  She is among them.  Which just sounds weird.  How can my mother be an ancestor?  But she is.  Ironically I greeted her ashes this morning too.  I don’t always do that.  A copper box, sitting side-by-side with Jaymie’s small wooden one, Wyatt’s necklace and jewelry, Kali’s footprint – all on a shelf overflowing with books.  As though loss and grief can be contained in one place, while outside the winds drag the very last leaves from autumn trees.

Grief.  Reminding me of some piece of love I hadn’t considered for her.  For myself.  Always she reminds me of this now – self-love.  She wasn’t able to do so when I was a child, surely no one had taught her.  Fortunately, I know who her parents were, they didn’t get the lesson either.  Few do, the heart having been left out of these past few centuries by design Lee Brown discovered as he wrote his dissertation for his Ph.D.: Humankind has gone through a suppression of the heart which has caused a split away from the values of interconnection. We educate the mind but we do not educate the heart in emotional development.

Yet we love one another to the best of our abilities anyway.  Humans can’t help but love .  We are love at our essence.

It’s become a practice in the last few months that I go stand barefoot on the earth.  Today in the cold rain, wet grass as I make a prayer – tobacco in hand, standing between the heavens and earth – my heart a rose with its thorns.  Abrupt tears joined the shower water and cascading thoughts.  Love tears in rain chilled prayer.  Dry your hair!  The cold feels good.  Or is it the earth?  The grief itself?  Perhaps I brought this upon myself having greeted the box.  Maybe the thorny tangled fears of being a mother, or that of the daughter?  All of the above?  None of it?  No matter, the depth of the loss is equal to the breadth of the love.

“Self-love is always the answer.”  ~  Northside Dreamers

Mitakuye Oyasin  ~  All My Relations

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Conspiring In My Favor

Literally the Stars are aligned.  And the new Moon in Scorpio.  The depth of my own prayers in the lodge, the heart of the pourer.  The energetic healing from Shamrock.  A visualization from the Star Nation combined with breathing into my root, into Maka, clearing chakra and connecting to the Golden All – truly mind altering.  My physicality too.  The medicine of the Black Horse, new rattles created in a sacred way from this hide – all whispering their gift for me while sending up a call to their new partner – who will come to adopt them?  The teachings of Chief Avrol Looking Horse and Chief Phil Lane, Jr..  The gorgeous (m) Northern Flicker whose back patch is shimmering fluorescent orange, just begging me to follow – drum with me.  Shadow work.  The teachings of the 16 Mysteries.  A lone Canada Goose.  Why are you alone?  Are you like me?  Who are you calling to?  Am I the one?  The word for this 54th year was adventure, am I missing something?  Many more come honking their communal calls.  Joy is elevated.  My dreamscape – so many delights to be acted upon – where to start?  Waterlily by Ella Cara Deloria.  Ceremony by Leslie Marmon Silko.  Each with invaluable words, lessons and inspiration.  The power and courage of my own heart and words.  Falcon.  Forgiveness.  Love.  Deep Gratitude.  Snow in the mountains.  Echo Lake slowly filling up with the rains.  The rejection of Keystone XL – arms linked in solidarity.

Everything is going to be alright.  Winds of change have come.

Mitakuye Oyasin  ~  All My Relations

Having spent the past year immersed in the teachings of Hereditary Chief Phil Lane, Jr. I am a little wiser than I used to be, more sure of the direction we are going as a people and proud to be included in his Circle.  And I love to hear him laugh!  http://www.fwii.net/

Chief Arvol Looking Horse, among many other things valuable, is the founder of World Peace and Prayer Day.  Annually since 1986 he rides horseback in the Bigfoot Memorial Ride to honor his ancestors in the massacre of Wounded Knee.  http://wolakota.org/index.html

Both Brother Phil and Brother Avrol can be heard speaking on the Shift Networks Global Indigenous Wisdom Summit, a free three-day powerhouse of Indigenous Elders and Youth speaking for the needs of our times.  No matter your philosophical or spiritual beliefs much wisdom will be shared during these days that can positively affect the way we live and relate to one another and the Earth.   A’ho   !

Rik Astrohawk Astrology www.astrohawkastrology.com

 

 

Buffalo. Works.

Commissioned work: hand-stitched, custom fit moccasin.

I’ve been asked to sew a pair of shoes for a woman who is healing herself with nature.  In her infinite internal wisdom, she’s self prescribed being outdoors – a lot.  While hiking, she realized how important it is for her to actually have her feet on the earth, unencumbered by artificial material.  I prefer to use Buffalo hide for moccasins for its strength , stability, comfort and ease.  Buffalo gives what is needed.

Fresh ginger tea sweetened with local honey and lemon (yum!) warmed us during our time together talking, tracing, measuring. That she shared what was on her heart, why she felt drawn to walking the earth in moccasin was a generous gift of authenticity and vulnerability.  Delighted and naturally drawn to buffalo without knowing why, she had done a little reading – there are plenty of intellectual sources extolling wisdom about the medicine for which I am grateful.  When she asked, “what is the medicine of the buffalo?”. I paused to reflect.

Medicine is far more meaningful through experiential work and practice.   I have been working with and worked by Buffalo in really good ways – I shared a bit knowing that we are all worked individually as needed – the books and websites cannot begin to know how Buffalo works its magic.  Just this morning in my prayers of gratitude for Grandmother Buffy Pté (who lives with me) and in preparation for these moccasin, I found myself offering up prayers for the Buffalo Nation – that they have room to roam, they way they deserve to.  This lead to prayers for peace with the Ranchers who are resistant to the Buffalo so their cattle have the landscape to graze.  And I then realize these Ranchers are the good guys in spite of the deeds done to the populations of buffalo – their animals are not pinned into feed lots on factory farms.  Again the prayer within me is moved by the good medicine of Buffalo.  Now I’m offering up prayers for these practices to stop – no more poisoning the earth and the residents nearby, no more inhumane treatment of these animals (cattle. hogs, chickens, any others raised in these ways), for the greed to be at an end.  Then prayers too for those who are driven by their greed.  And on and on it goes with the Buffalo.  Their medicine opens my heart wider and in surprising ways.

The Buffalo is guardian medicine, constant in generosity, offering themselves and their powers unceasingly.

May their needs also be met.

The patterns made and fitted properly, and are now taken apart and laid up on the hide.  I have prayed for and with the spirit of this Buffalo – listened and received messages for the woman who waits for her new shoes.  She’s given me her prayers and intentions to hold while I sew for her.  The moccasin will be sewn with my love and gratitude for the Buffalo Nation and the way our Mother Earth will heal this woman and she will heal herself – it is all a mystery to me and I trust fully these medicine ways, the prayers, the process.

Soul Proprietor is always available for commissioned works of all sort.  Any object for ritual – personal, sacred and ceremonial, tools for healing practitioners.  A full schedule of workshops for DIY crafting is also always available.  The next moccasin crafting workshop is November 21-22 – it is richly rewarding and fulfilling to sew with the Buffalo.  Consider a pair of new medicine shoes for yourself or perhaps as gifting, the holiday season is quickly upon us.  These moccasin are a worthy and unique gift that will surely carry anyone wearing them a long way on our Mother Earth – leaving prayers with each step and every footprint on her back.

Mitakuye Oyasin  ~  All My Relations

A Black Horse Appeared

Well, I depend upon no one’s heart (or courage) but my own, so thinking this, I look for horses.   ~  Song of Self-Reliance sung by Old Buffalo

A few weeks back, the Fire Circle was coming to birth drums.  I journeyed to seek out the medicine that wished to come forward for them as we had not discussed anything in specific.  I am no longer surprised yet I am always amazed at how directly aligned the wisdom comes through – it is always exactly in keeping with the path of the seeker.  Black Horse, unambiguous definitively black, appeared.  While familiar with the medicine of Horse, having read several old stories, I went in search of more.  I wanted some details that might help me understand what this medicine in particular was bringing forward.

“I am from the Void where Answer lives. Ride on my back and know the power of entering the Darkness and finding the Light.”  ~  Dreamwalker

When the Fire Circle gathered, we took time to ground in with one another sharing where we were at and what were we needing at this time.  Up to this point, their medicine waited quietly.  While I listened to their shares, I well with emotions – Black Horse was precisely what is needed.  When they were complete, it was my turn to share, a dark horse* previously unknown is now prominently in the room.  Overwhelming, overflowing agreement that this day will be the beginning  of what is sure be a powerful journey.  Black Horse had come to offer the Mystery in magical ways.

And indeed, four black horse drums were birthed and are making magic known in the lives of their caretakers.

Not usual, after the drum heads and laces have been cut unused hide is so inviting .  Every scrap speaks.  Black Horse has come calling, work with me for your highest good.  From some of what remains, I have sewed rattles, taking this opportunity to ride into the Void, into my dark places and bringing back the Light.

I have been on a spiritual path for some time now and naturally life and questing have guided into some dark places.  Last summer’s Sun Dance, I was gifted/guided to explore deeper, to make a concerted effort to attend to my shadow work.  Surprisingly, my shadow work isn’t what I thought it might be.  It has been far more gentle than I was anticipating.  It’s the Medicine and Light, the Ceremonies – they support my personal path and healing process in incredible unimaginable ways.  And self-love.

“Self-Love is Always the Answer.”  ~  Northside Dream Circle  

Dip into the Void and bring back the Light
Dip into the Void and bring back the Light

Sewing with this Black Horse – the hide is soft like butter, easily pierced by a sharp needle, no resistance when pulling the stitches tight.  This feels so symbolic, like grace accompanying every prayer and stitch, tightly woven into the process of healing the shadows with Light.  This Black Horse teaching me not to fear those places within with steadfastness, gently lifting me up to the light of day.  Spaciousness occurs.  The gravitational pull towards Light, riding this swift horse, I am delivered unto myself in a good way.  There is still working to complete these rattles – as of yet no voices – what will I hear?  Their handles incomplete – when sanding and polishing, finding the “fit” in my hand, what can be garnered?  Already I’ve been gifted with freedom, bravery and generosity.

Mitakuye Oyasin  ~  All My Relations

Consider the workshop calendar.  Let us make a time together, to sew rattles, birth drums from any number of medicines, Black Horse among them to carry you deeper from the shadows into Light.  The Medicine of All Nations supports our walk at this time.  Blessings…

*The idiom dark horse refers to hidden talents, potential, victory and gains in power.

 

PM-J

There are Shamanic technologies of “walking” in the mind, heart and body to “see”, to become aware and find understanding.  In yogic, and a multitude of other traditions, visualizations are an accepted practice for seeing into the body, mind and spirit.  Both of these systems are everyday ingredients in my personal practice and in my teachings – whether it be medicine or yoga.   Seeing, knowing, others as light may be a universal belief.  We are after all the energy of the Universe, we come straight or crooked, from the big bang.  Aren’t we both star dust and clay, born from the unknowable that is the Mystery?  Add to the hydrogen, the nitrogen and the oxygen, the carbon of our bodies and we are the Universe, the Center of the Universe is in each of us.

In my yoga practice yesterday morning, as I rested in child’s pose, into my mind/heart appeared a vision of my dear friend PM-J resting just like me, in child’s pose.  I’ve seen her in this asana many times when we have practiced together.  Suddenly,  I wished to see into her body, into the cells gone awry that I might offer the Light into these cells, healing medicine for her.  I asked my Allies for this guidance, overwhelmed with the want of it, my heart so full.

No.  Not until you accept these two things. 

I am taken by surprise.  What do I need to know?

First, know that she is a wild animal, strong and capable of her own healing and highest good.

Of course, ok, I accept this as truth.  I know her to be strong, capable.  I am aware of the power within us.  I know too that we humans despite our civilization, are exactly that – a mammalian species on this planet.  That’s easy enough.  And?

Release attachment to outcome. 

Tears are overflowing my closed eyes.  I squeeze them tight wanting desperately to resist!

“Outwardly it seems like fire and vengeance.  Inwardly, it’s purifying waters.”  Brother Phil

I cried knowing that I know nothing of a greater plan.  I know what I what things to look like, how I want things to be, little me.  I want my friend be healthy, happy and whole.  And I know the cycles of life, death and rebirth.  Gradually I surrender and submit.  I know that I must trust absolutely in her soul path.  In mine.  Without warning, more comes forward – completely unrelated to my friend – that I must sort through and acknowledge, seeing the pain and ugliness, finding my way to forgiveness.  Forgiving perpetrators, forgiving my own judgments.

Forgiveness is good work, they tell me

With these admissions comes the image of my sweet friend, though I see her standing,  no longer in child’s pose.  I can see her clearly in my mind’s eye, she is facing me.  I see the room we have practiced in together, kitchen at her back, encouraging words and happy pictures on the refrigerator.

Now they allow me to see her filled with light.  Light comes in on her right side, my left, top to bottom, bottom to top –  simultaneously as though a big hand waved it into her in one gentle motion until her body is full.  She is luminous, filled with Light.  I ask again.  May I see the cells she so bravely confronts each day?  Will you allow me to now?  Before my mind can fully comprehend the sight of these rogue cells, the Divine encircles them in golden light, wraps them up fully they merge and fuse into Light.  Gratitude wells up in me as I see her flourishing in the Light.  I hold this image a long while.

I rise up from my mat, whipping tears puddled where my face had been.  I stand up straight, grounding into Tadasana, the mountain, standing still going nowhere.  Opening my eyes, I still see her a vision before me.  As always, she is smiling – impeccable, unyielding, capable and strong.

I am deeply grateful for these ways and for the medicine of the Divine Light, for the Mystery.  Grateful for the power of prayers.  Grateful for the love of my brilliant luminous friend PM-J.

Mitakuye Oyasin  ~  All My Relations

 

 

Autumn 2015 Offerings

Children’s Circles:  September 12, October 10 and November 14 – Our gatherings begin at 1pm and generally complete by 6pm.  We gather with respect for one another and our Mother Earth.  All the nations our Mother supports are greeted with gladitude and gratitude.  We come together to learn and to have fun, share a healthy meal, create, explore and vision for ourselves and the future.  Our Circle welcomes all ages and identities with open hearts.  Bring your parents of other adults to share this time. Suggested exchange $40. 

Drum Birthing:  October 18 and November 15, 9am until complete.  The medicine of the Four-legged and the Standing Ones come together in a sacred way when we set our intentions towards birthing a drum.  Each workshop is held in a respectful way, honoring tradition and ourselves in the process.  Drum birthing is ceremony, a time for joyful prayer and a labor of love that lasts a lifetime.   Please RSVP allowing me to properly prepare for your presence and your drum.  Exchange $225.

Fire Circle Drum Birthing:  September 27, 9am until complete – private circle.

Visioning Drum ReUnion: September 19, 7pm-10pm on Echo Lake.  An invitation is extended to all drums that have been birthed at Soul Proprietor over the years.  Migrate back to the waters of your birth to join in a Drumming Circle to Vision for the rebalancing what is needed at this time.  Let’s come together with joy-full hearts, clear intentions, prayers and expansive dreams for the future – our drum beats and voices raising the frequency in a good way with a fire as our company to transmute the challenges of our times.  Bring your friends no matter where their drums were born, they are welcome.

Feeding the Fire Ceremony:  September 26, 4:30pm until complete.  Women and girls of all ages are invited to gather for a Feeding of the Fire Ceremony where we will learn more about honoring the feminine through the natural way.  We’ll light a fire, share stories and songs, we’ll feast afterwards.  RSVP please for further details.

Rattle Crafting:  Turtle Shell Rattles October 11, Rawhide Rattles November 1, noon until complete.  Craft and sew in a good way an ancient instrument to call yourself home to yourself,  move the energies, releasing what may be stuck from this lifetime as well as ancestral times, celebrating your wholeness.  A rattle is a tool for shamanic healing work and personal ritual.  Every voice is unique, every stitch a prayer.  Sit in community, share yourself to whatever degree you feel called to, sing, laugh and create – the possibilities are as limitless as the sky.  Please RSVP your intention to join in allowing for proper preparation.  Exchange $75.

Moccasin Crafting:  October 24 & 25 and November 21 & 22 – our moccasin workshops are taught in two day workshops – 9am to 7pm each day.  Tough yet tender, Buffalo medicine supports your walk in the world and shares with you the abundance of right action.  Buffalo hide moccasin are incredibly comfortable and can be worn daily as well as for ceremony or special occasions.  These moccasin are custom fit to your feet, a measurement and foot tracing is needed in advance allowing for a pattern to be sewn prior to the workshop.  This is easily arranged between us.  Style choices and the adornment possibilities are endless.  Exchange $275.

Medicine Bags:  October 4, noon until complete.  A medicine bag is personal.  What strengths do you wish to support?  What needs to be augmented at this time?  Craft a medicine bag for your connection and protection.  Whatever your needs, medicine is the grounding and underpinning that shelters you in life.  As always, a prayerful protected container holds us in our work together.  These days are community days yet the deeply personal component often makes for times of silence and reflection – it is always the right combination of call and response between each person and the Mystery.   Please RSVP your intentions allowing for proper preparation for you.  Exchange $75.

Talking Sticks:  November 8, noon until complete.  At this time, many are coming together in many ways for the rebalancing of our lives and for our Mother.  Coming together in a Circle is powerful healing medicine.  Using a Talking Stick while in Circle creates greater respect for the person speaking, for their story and the heart behind their words.  Are you leading a Circle at this time?  Perhaps doing so has tugged at you for a long while.  Now is the time.  Now is the time for each of us to step up and step into our power to birth forward the future.  We are here at this time by agreement, by our choosing – let’s come forward in a good, true and beautiful way speaking our truth, allowing others to do the same.  There is healing work to be done.  Crafting a Talking Stick brings powerful medicine and voice into the world.  Please RSVP your intentions allowing for proper preparations.  Exchange $100.

Wing Medicine:  September 13, October 31, November 28, noon until complete.  This is where my work with medicine began.  My Uncle, from many lifetimes ago called, reminding me why I came here at this time.  The joy I feel for the Winged Ones was not the whole story, there is so much more.  The Winged Ones are a powerful ally offering themselves as healing tools.  There is no limit to their healing potential – what is needed?  These ally are here to help.  Feel free to bring your own medicine if you already carry something and receive the guidance for crafting a secure handhold that protects your medicine.  Please RSVP your intentions so I may properly prepare for your presence.  Exchange $75.

With Gratitude

Mitakuye Oyasin  ~  All My Relations

 

What If I Surrender?

What would that look like?

Allow.

Soften.

Trust.

Yesterday morning before grocery shopping for our camp kitchen, I had a strong need to be on the earth. To be outside and make my prayers.  Early tomorrow morning we meet in ceremony.  Greeting the trees, I am distracted from my purpose. The Star Magnolia (she’s awesome!) is filled with spider webs glistening in the sunlight and buoyant in the breeze, at the center of each a Spider.  As I look over the tree at the many webs I discover a web under construction.  What a marvelous mesmerizing gift watching a Garden Spider weave her home and source of sustenance.  I notice how she adjusts her body to the variances of the arch of her circle.  Her diligence of purpose.  The way she creates.  I see her footing slip in the breeze causing a mistake (?) in the web’s form.  It doesn’t slow her down in the least.  She tacks and returns to the direction she wants to go.  Her medicine teaches me resilience.  To move forward.  Leave the past behind.  Choose where I want to go.  Stay focused.  To be at my center and source within.  And Go! make your ties, get moving, there is much to do!  Indeed. I go sit in the only green place in the yard, shaded by the Monster.  I make my prayers, they feel powerful, witnessed by more tiny spiders crawling all about me, chartreuse and pale yellow-white.  Spider power!  Gratefully, shopping took the rest of the day so I ordered pizza.  The delivery person helped me carry my new cooler (*which doesn’t fit in my trunk! doh!) into the house.  (too big and too heavy!)  Allow for help.  Surrender to a new limitation, another lesson.

In my yoga practice this morning Adho Mukha Svanasana invites me to submit.  I do.  Surrendering.  What am I holding?  Where?  Let go of story.  Come into alignment with my heart.  Release.  Soften.  Mind my mouth, no tension there.  I feel a healing in my throat.  Pilamaya!

Humbly.  I have a burning question.  Why is the human species so violent?  I heard Jerry Jampolsky speak on the Summer of Peace saying, “Why is a victim’s question that keeps us in our suffering.  Surrender, it is happening for a reason.”  Well crap!  If I had a nickel for every time I asked why, why, why.  What if I surrender to this question and just go pack and make ready for camp?  What if I surrender and trust?  Trust = Happy Heart!  That’s what!

Allow.  Soften.  Trust.  A good way to walk into ceremony.  This is my vision quest.

In gratitude for the People who have come before to show us this way, for the patterns and agreements laid down over time.  Pilamaya for this ceremony.  For the Circle coming together in this way.  For all Nations who will greet us on the land, for our Mother Earth.  Our prayers.

I offer prayers for the Salmon Nation who are struggling at this time.  For the Water.  Water is life.

Mitakuye Oyasin  ~  All My Relations

(*thankfully my best friend Scott loaned me his truck!)(allowing)(again!)