Category Archives: Thoughts About This and That

Ceremony, Moccasins, Thoughts About This and That

Dirty Feet and Little Feet

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It’s amazing how dirty feet can be after a sweat lodge.  I find it amusing that I cannot stand dirty fingernails but dirty feet during and after any ceremony are totally tolerable.  Amazing.

Such a boon!  An infant joined the communities lodge yesterday.  A sweet purely perfect 6 week old came in the door between first and second rounds.  He was passed from hand to hand around the circle, each of us offering our blessing to him.  All of us taking delight in the enormous gift of his presence.  His tiny toes were altogether clean.

I was guided to make baby moccasin on Christmas day.  What? OK, sure, I love to sew for tiny feet.  Surprisingly, what came up was not love.  I got a  little agitated and anxious about people having babies today, these times too awful.  Who’d want to bring a child in now?  Conscious or unconscious parents, my thoughts rambled on…. what must they be thinking?  Such judgment and fear welled up in me.

Ah… Medicine work is such a revealer and healer.

I noticed that my fear churned when I laid the pattern down.  This fear has lived in me for a while.  The judgment and questioning came as I cut the pieces from the hide – symbolic to me of how separate I was feeling from the Whole.  While praying and sewing the little pieces of red Deer hide back together, creating “Winter Girl” moccasin, I was reminded that we are all here by agreement.  These New Ones are coming in by choice.  And they have their reasons for coming in at this time.  They know what they are getting into.  This allayed my fears tremendously. I was then and am now, humbled and awed.   I bow to the unknown wisdom of the Soul’s path and the Mystery.  I stitched such gratitude and love now.  These little shoes – the lesson I received that Their enlightenment is my, our, gift and we need them now.  There is no escaping the Whole – I needed to be reminded.  I remember.

Mother and babe crawled out of the lodge, the door came down, we went on with our prayers.  Just now, I wondered about the fire tenders, did they too have their time with the baby?  Surely they must have.  I hope so.  Afterwards, still in our circle, I watched Mom. She was captivated, watching him asleep in the crook of her loving arm.  Looking at them with my heart-eyes and not the fear-mind, it was clear that the lesson I’d received that day allowed me to fully be present for the gift of their presence.

Joyfully (my usual way), I had sewed moccasin for this one too a few months before he was born.  Mom thinks he’ll be wearing them by the time we go into ceremony to dance the Night Turtle Dance this summer.  My heart was so full.  My feet needed a pumice stone.  🙂

Winter Baby MoccasinHappily and lovingly (truly) sewing baby moccasin.  They are filled with prayers of gratitude and joyful wonder at the remarkable mystery of it all.

 

Mitakuye Oyasin

All My Relations

Medicine Objects, Thoughts About This and That

Hector and Golem

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“…Hector the Collector
Loved these things with all his soul–
Loved them more then shining diamonds,
Loved them more then glistenin’ gold….” 

I’ve been watching the changing landscape of winter – both the night sky and what can be seen of earth from where I stand.  The lake is full to overflowing.  Only the Oak trees are dressed with leaves now, the rusty-brown color of their death.  Waterfowl are on the move, some landing for a bit of respite, others with somewhere else to go.  Geese left their unwanted feathers in the yard this morning.  Songbirds are plenty.  And the Moon, differing with each day/night – she’s not particular when she’s seen – she just goes on shining, pulling the tides as they rise.  There is snow in the mountains this winter, quite a lot – I’m hopeful for a slow melt – life-giving water.  Uranus has moved direct, Mercury has gone retrograde again.  I feel so small.  Humbled.

Life is precious.

I’m not a Tolkien fan.  In his writings though, he created Golem and I have always found the fervor with which Golem seeks and cherishes his “precious” to be oddly heart warming.   And I’ll admit to feeling a little like Golem before medicine work came into my life.  My precious was how I felt about the random feathers or bit of bone, and stones and driftwood that I had amassed.  Precious, all of them.

Ever since medicine work revealed itself to me, it is clear why I am Hector the Collector.   And since then too, much of the natural bits, gifts from Maka, have long since been incorporated into some sacred object that has gone home with someone else.  These things were never meant for me.  I was only the custodian.  They were not my precious.  Mind you, I still have a collection of miscellaneous and random bits.  I am no longer attached.  They are not mine either.  Mine is an illusion.

What’s precious though is an infinitely long list.  Life is filled with what is precious – every second, every breath, the New Ones, our Elders, those who are on the front lines for Peace and caretaking Mother Earth, those who are making certain the children are fed and animals are cared for, family, friends, communities and Circles, the medicine work and the Seekers, et al, and on and on.

In this changing landscape of winter, as the sun drops beneath the clouds and a gentle rain falls, light is cast is across the water.  A duck quacks.  Life is precious.  Life is good and so very precious.

Mitakuye Oyasin  ~  All My Relations

 

Medicine Objects, Thoughts About This and That

Save the Date ~ LOVE Offering

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Save the Date!  February 16, noon until 6pm.

Mark your calendars and join in to raise abundance for the Cocoon House, because every child deserves a home.

I know this is Valentine’s Day and what a perfect day for a ♥LOVE♥ offering!  Savor a leisurely morning in self-love.  Arrive at noon. Create a LOVE stitched rattle offering.  Complete early enough for more of the same self-love, shared-love kind of evening.

Let me explain myself… Whilst listening in prayer many months ago, they said make rattles with the homeless.  Hah? What? Excuse me?  A little clarification here please, because a rattle isn’t what I would think a homeless person might need.  This is me, arguing with Spirit, trying to make sense of it in my head.  Of course I cannot.  Each time I applied my mind, no obvious answers arose.  Never forgetting yet sort of putting it out of my head time passed.  After a while it comes up again.  No clear way forward. Then again.  And yet again.  Finally (I’m slow sometimes), I realized I’m in my head. Get out of my head for a solution and into my heart.

More than 34% of the total homeless population is under the age of 24. Cocoon House is a non-profit that conducts outreach to, and provides short and long -term housing for homeless and at-risk young people, including their children. Parents of teens can also find support for themselves and their families at Cocoon House so that young people do not become homeless.

The more I settled into my heart about this project, the more possibilities have come up as potential ways of following through on this request to serve.  And the challenges remain.  I am fully ready.  I have extended an offering to make rattles with homeless and been politely declined, “…our population isn’t interested…”.  I have been forward, offered as in-depth an explanation as possible.  Yet, every time, my request, regardless of how imaginative I’ve been in delivering the idea of crafting rattles with the homeless at drop-in and extended stay shelters, the offering has been rejected.

Undaunted, the idea of a gathering, of inviting people to come together to make a Love Offering flew out of my heart.

What I am suggesting and asking is that we come together in a Circle of loving support to sew rattles.  I am offering to hold space and host, teach the crafting as needed, I will offer all the materials. I’ll offer my prayers.  I am asking that you make an offering of your time, your hearts in crafting, your prayers and any monetary amount you can make.  All of the abundance collected, 100%,  will be gifted to the Cocoon House.  I encouraged you to feel free to take the rattle home with you, gift it to another or gift it to the Cocoon House.

In all my thinking about this, it is quite clear why a homeless person could benefit enormously for the medicine of a rattle, in a multitude of ways.  One step at a time though. I am hoping there will be so many of us coming together in Love and Compassion that we raise the vibration to help put an end homelessness.  All are welcome.

Thank you for your consideration.  Thank you for joining in community, to be in Love and make an offering with me, with Spirit, with the medicine of healing.  Please invite your family and friends.

Pilamaya! Pilamaya! Pilamaya!

Mitakuye Oyasin  ~  All My Relations

 

Thoughts About This and That

Never. Eat. Soggy. Waffles.

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Open ♥’s, peace-full, joy-full, innocent children making prayers.

The Children's Circle makes a prayer for Peace
The Children’s Circle makes a prayer for Peace

Seriousness and giggles.  Rocks in socks.  Singing songs of joy.

Calling in the Ancestors of the East (eat) – rattling, ringing bells, juggling wooden shakers, a singing bowl – bring the illumination, cast the Light of Understanding into the shadows of darkness.  We listen with our inner wisdom and receive the gifts of the Earth – sunshine, cool air, no coats, many geese.  What is your greatest joy?  What is your vision?  A girl who can fly, and willing to do double duty.  One who tends to animals, a garden growing food, children of the future.  A Shortstop who gives his extra riches away wanting boys and girls with little to experience baseball camp.  A woman at peace with the water.  Communing with the wild remote places on earth.

Lighting candles, we sent our blessings up – may we all know joy, have visions of a peace-full future.

There is a big responsibility in tending to our ♥s, the ♥s of others.  A mother gently spoke… remember Paris… many people at this time are crying, many are suffering all over the world, painful things have occurred.  South (soggy) medicine is for the whole and healthy ♥.  Kindness. Love. Joy. Peace. Compassion.  Raising our conscious intentions for ourselves and all others – offering the purity of child blessings for the wholeness, repairing the holes in ♥s with gladness, gratitude and love.  Always on the other side of the darkest night comes  the blessings of morning light.  Even in the hard places.  Shining.  Luminous.  Perfect.  Love.

Lighting our candles, from one flame to the next, calling it forth, making it so for ourselves, sending the light to all others.

Sisterhood.  Brotherhood. 17 generations in the past and 17 generations into the future. Digging deep into the shadows bringing light to the humble, which are holy. Luring gentleness into this time. Calling the Mystery, calling for grace.  Connecting to the Water, hands wet, giving and receiving.  We joyfully give our prayers and highest intentions, making blessing, fiercely rattling in abundance of Love.  Allies of the West (waffles) it’s time now.  Hear us. Feel us. See us. Sending up a call.

Our candles are lit.

Who is your Grandmother? Who is your Grandfather?  And theirs?  How far back in time are we related?  Back.  Back.  Back.  Perhaps our people were Cavemen.  Surely.  All our relations – stone nation, standing ones, four-legged, winged, swimmers, all you microbes and creepy crawly bugs – how have we been in relation with you as a human family?  Wisdom Keepers of the North (never), what apologies can we make?  What forgiveness can we extend?  From our precious, sweet, pure ♥s we send a prayer for healing and reparations past hurts and harm!  We won’t carry it forward.  May all the generations coming be at peace.  We are at peace with ourselves, with one another.  We believe in Love.

We offer the very best of ourselves by lighting another candle.

Prayers for Peace by the Children's Circle
Prayers for Peace by the Children’s Circle

The Circle is complete.  A’ho!

Working with these beautiful young one is an honor.  It’s a balance to maintain innocence and tell the truth about the goings on of the world.  I left it to the grown-up to impart what prompted an altar for Peace.  The children are wise, they are compassionate and giving, freely sharing themselves – pure love.

Everyday I make my own offering, everyday I pray for Peace.

Prayers for Peace
Prayers for Peace

Mitakuye Oyasin  ~  All My Relations

 

 

Thoughts About This and That

A Rose Among Thorns

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I stepped into the shower, suddenly missing my mother more intensely than I have in a while.  Damn grief always showing up like an unexpected guest.  My belief is our souls are entwined, divinely connected by some unexplainable creation agreement.  So she is constantly with me.  Why then is grief so surprising when it comes calling?

I greet my Ancestors each morning upon waking.  She is among them.  Which just sounds weird.  How can my mother be an ancestor?  But she is.  Ironically I greeted her ashes this morning too.  I don’t always do that.  A copper box, sitting side-by-side with Jaymie’s small wooden one, Wyatt’s necklace and jewelry, Kali’s footprint – all on a shelf overflowing with books.  As though loss and grief can be contained in one place, while outside the winds drag the very last leaves from autumn trees.

Grief.  Reminding me of some piece of love I hadn’t considered for her.  For myself.  Always she reminds me of this now – self-love.  She wasn’t able to do so when I was a child, surely no one had taught her.  Fortunately, I know who her parents were, they didn’t get the lesson either.  Few do, the heart having been left out of these past few centuries by design Lee Brown discovered as he wrote his dissertation for his Ph.D.: Humankind has gone through a suppression of the heart which has caused a split away from the values of interconnection. We educate the mind but we do not educate the heart in emotional development.

Yet we love one another to the best of our abilities anyway.  Humans can’t help but love .  We are love at our essence.

It’s become a practice in the last few months that I go stand barefoot on the earth.  Today in the cold rain, wet grass as I make a prayer – tobacco in hand, standing between the heavens and earth – my heart a rose with its thorns.  Abrupt tears joined the shower water and cascading thoughts.  Love tears in rain chilled prayer.  Dry your hair!  The cold feels good.  Or is it the earth?  The grief itself?  Perhaps I brought this upon myself having greeted the box.  Maybe the thorny tangled fears of being a mother, or that of the daughter?  All of the above?  None of it?  No matter, the depth of the loss is equal to the breadth of the love.

“Self-love is always the answer.”  ~  Northside Dreamers

Mitakuye Oyasin  ~  All My Relations

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Moccasins, Thoughts About This and That, Workshops

Buffalo. Works.

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Commissioned work: hand-stitched, custom fit moccasin.

I’ve been asked to sew a pair of shoes for a woman who is healing herself with nature.  In her infinite internal wisdom, she’s self prescribed being outdoors – a lot.  While hiking, she realized how important it is for her to actually have her feet on the earth, unencumbered by artificial material.  I prefer to use Buffalo hide for moccasins for its strength , stability, comfort and ease.  Buffalo gives what is needed.

Fresh ginger tea sweetened with local honey and lemon (yum!) warmed us during our time together talking, tracing, measuring. That she shared what was on her heart, why she felt drawn to walking the earth in moccasin was a generous gift of authenticity and vulnerability.  Delighted and naturally drawn to buffalo without knowing why, she had done a little reading – there are plenty of intellectual sources extolling wisdom about the medicine for which I am grateful.  When she asked, “what is the medicine of the buffalo?”. I paused to reflect.

Medicine is far more meaningful through experiential work and practice.   I have been working with and worked by Buffalo in really good ways – I shared a bit knowing that we are all worked individually as needed – the books and websites cannot begin to know how Buffalo works its magic.  Just this morning in my prayers of gratitude for Grandmother Buffy Pté (who lives with me) and in preparation for these moccasin, I found myself offering up prayers for the Buffalo Nation – that they have room to roam, they way they deserve to.  This lead to prayers for peace with the Ranchers who are resistant to the Buffalo so their cattle have the landscape to graze.  And I then realize these Ranchers are the good guys in spite of the deeds done to the populations of buffalo – their animals are not pinned into feed lots on factory farms.  Again the prayer within me is moved by the good medicine of Buffalo.  Now I’m offering up prayers for these practices to stop – no more poisoning the earth and the residents nearby, no more inhumane treatment of these animals (cattle. hogs, chickens, any others raised in these ways), for the greed to be at an end.  Then prayers too for those who are driven by their greed.  And on and on it goes with the Buffalo.  Their medicine opens my heart wider and in surprising ways.

The Buffalo is guardian medicine, constant in generosity, offering themselves and their powers unceasingly.

May their needs also be met.

The patterns made and fitted properly, and are now taken apart and laid up on the hide.  I have prayed for and with the spirit of this Buffalo – listened and received messages for the woman who waits for her new shoes.  She’s given me her prayers and intentions to hold while I sew for her.  The moccasin will be sewn with my love and gratitude for the Buffalo Nation and the way our Mother Earth will heal this woman and she will heal herself – it is all a mystery to me and I trust fully these medicine ways, the prayers, the process.

Soul Proprietor is always available for commissioned works of all sort.  Any object for ritual – personal, sacred and ceremonial, tools for healing practitioners.  A full schedule of workshops for DIY crafting is also always available.  The next moccasin crafting workshop is November 21-22 – it is richly rewarding and fulfilling to sew with the Buffalo.  Consider a pair of new medicine shoes for yourself or perhaps as gifting, the holiday season is quickly upon us.  These moccasin are a worthy and unique gift that will surely carry anyone wearing them a long way on our Mother Earth – leaving prayers with each step and every footprint on her back.

Mitakuye Oyasin  ~  All My Relations

Thoughts About This and That, Yoga

PM-J

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There are Shamanic technologies of “walking” in the mind, heart and body to “see”, to become aware and find understanding.  In yogic, and a multitude of other traditions, visualizations are an accepted practice for seeing into the body, mind and spirit.  Both of these systems are everyday ingredients in my personal practice and in my teachings – whether it be medicine or yoga.   Seeing, knowing, others as light may be a universal belief.  We are after all the energy of the Universe, we come straight or crooked, from the big bang.  Aren’t we both star dust and clay, born from the unknowable that is the Mystery?  Add to the hydrogen, the nitrogen and the oxygen, the carbon of our bodies and we are the Universe, the Center of the Universe is in each of us.

In my yoga practice yesterday morning, as I rested in child’s pose, into my mind/heart appeared a vision of my dear friend PM-J resting just like me, in child’s pose.  I’ve seen her in this asana many times when we have practiced together.  Suddenly,  I wished to see into her body, into the cells gone awry that I might offer the Light into these cells, healing medicine for her.  I asked my Allies for this guidance, overwhelmed with the want of it, my heart so full.

No.  Not until you accept these two things. 

I am taken by surprise.  What do I need to know?

First, know that she is a wild animal, strong and capable of her own healing and highest good.

Of course, ok, I accept this as truth.  I know her to be strong, capable.  I am aware of the power within us.  I know too that we humans despite our civilization, are exactly that – a mammalian species on this planet.  That’s easy enough.  And?

Release attachment to outcome. 

Tears are overflowing my closed eyes.  I squeeze them tight wanting desperately to resist!

“Outwardly it seems like fire and vengeance.  Inwardly, it’s purifying waters.”  Brother Phil

I cried knowing that I know nothing of a greater plan.  I know what I what things to look like, how I want things to be, little me.  I want my friend be healthy, happy and whole.  And I know the cycles of life, death and rebirth.  Gradually I surrender and submit.  I know that I must trust absolutely in her soul path.  In mine.  Without warning, more comes forward – completely unrelated to my friend – that I must sort through and acknowledge, seeing the pain and ugliness, finding my way to forgiveness.  Forgiving perpetrators, forgiving my own judgments.

Forgiveness is good work, they tell me. 

With these admissions comes the image of my sweet friend, though I see her standing,  no longer in child’s pose.  I can see her clearly in my mind’s eye, she is facing me.  I see the room we have practiced in together, kitchen at her back, encouraging words and happy pictures on the refrigerator.

Now they allow me to see her filled with light.  Light comes in on her right side, my left, top to bottom, bottom to top –  simultaneously as though a big hand waved it into her in one gentle motion until her body is full.  She is luminous, filled with Light.  I ask again.  May I see the cells she so bravely confronts each day?  Will you allow me to now?  Before my mind can fully comprehend the sight of these rogue cells, the Divine encircles them in golden light, wraps them up fully they merge and fuse into Light.  Gratitude wells up in me as I see her flourishing in the Light.  I hold this image a long while.

I rise up from my mat, whipping tears puddled where my face had been.  I stand up straight, grounding into Tadasana, the mountain, standing still going nowhere.  Opening my eyes, I still see her a vision before me.  As always, she is smiling – impeccable, unyielding, capable and strong.

I am deeply grateful for these ways and for the medicine of the Divine Light, for the Mystery.  Grateful for the power of prayers.  Grateful for the love of my brilliant luminous friend PM-J.

Mitakuye Oyasin  ~  All My Relations

 

 

Ceremony, Thoughts About This and That, Yoga

What If I Surrender?

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What would that look like?

Allow.

Soften.

Trust.

Yesterday morning before grocery shopping for our camp kitchen, I had a strong need to be on the earth. To be outside and make my prayers.  Early tomorrow morning we meet in ceremony.  Greeting the trees, I am distracted from my purpose. The Star Magnolia (she’s awesome!) is filled with spider webs glistening in the sunlight and buoyant in the breeze, at the center of each a Spider.  As I look over the tree at the many webs I discover a web under construction.  What a marvelous mesmerizing gift watching a Garden Spider weave her home and source of sustenance.  I notice how she adjusts her body to the variances of the arch of her circle.  Her diligence of purpose.  The way she creates.  I see her footing slip in the breeze causing a mistake (?) in the web’s form.  It doesn’t slow her down in the least.  She tacks and returns to the direction she wants to go.  Her medicine teaches me resilience.  To move forward.  Leave the past behind.  Choose where I want to go.  Stay focused.  To be at my center and source within.  And Go! make your ties, get moving, there is much to do!  Indeed. I go sit in the only green place in the yard, shaded by the Monster.  I make my prayers, they feel powerful, witnessed by more tiny spiders crawling all about me, chartreuse and pale yellow-white.  Spider power!  Gratefully, shopping took the rest of the day so I ordered pizza.  The delivery person helped me carry my new cooler (*which doesn’t fit in my trunk! doh!) into the house.  (too big and too heavy!)  Allow for help.  Surrender to a new limitation, another lesson.

In my yoga practice this morning Adho Mukha Svanasana invites me to submit.  I do.  Surrendering.  What am I holding?  Where?  Let go of story.  Come into alignment with my heart.  Release.  Soften.  Mind my mouth, no tension there.  I feel a healing in my throat.  Pilamaya!

Humbly.  I have a burning question.  Why is the human species so violent?  I heard Jerry Jampolsky speak on the Summer of Peace saying, “Why is a victim’s question that keeps us in our suffering.  Surrender, it is happening for a reason.”  Well crap!  If I had a nickel for every time I asked why, why, why.  What if I surrender to this question and just go pack and make ready for camp?  What if I surrender and trust?  Trust = Happy Heart!  That’s what!

Allow.  Soften.  Trust.  A good way to walk into ceremony.  This is my vision quest.

In gratitude for the People who have come before to show us this way, for the patterns and agreements laid down over time.  Pilamaya for this ceremony.  For the Circle coming together in this way.  For all Nations who will greet us on the land, for our Mother Earth.  Our prayers.

I offer prayers for the Salmon Nation who are struggling at this time.  For the Water.  Water is life.

Mitakuye Oyasin  ~  All My Relations

(*thankfully my best friend Scott loaned me his truck!)(allowing)(again!)